Showing Up for All of It
"The relentless pursuit of pleasure (and avoidance of pain) leads to pain."
Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke
Sometimes yoga is uncomfortable. I am not talking about the outright pain of pushing too far or the hurt of injury. Yoga itself can be awkward physically - holding a pose a bit longer while the teacher (hi, that's me!) drones on or when we are faced with something that we wish were different about the body. Maybe you wish to be stronger, to be able to balance better, or to have more energy. For you it could be even deeper - longing to be well instead of sick. A yoga (or meditation) practice, though, is a practice of showing up for all of it - even the hard parts.
Some of you know that I love to jump into the ocean. Please don't imagine something more than a plunge, an in-and-out type of situation. The water is 55 degrees right now! That's cold! It hurts a bit! I like to be with friends so we can laugh and scream together. Plus, more than one naked person is always good. :)
Sometimes people tell themselves - out loud - I think to weave a spell - the water is warm. "It is so warm." I can understand this method. The mind is powerful, and clearly it shapes our reality. I have a different method, though. I know it is cold. I know that it is sharp, and my muscles sometimes clench up with the cold. But I can take it. I don't have to always live in comfort, and I will be ok. This is how I understand yoga practice too.
When I stop immediately trying to escape discomfort, I learn that I am all right even when things don't go my way. I understand that I can be fine (or even good) when things aren't pleasant.
Cold water doesn't kill me. Restlessness passes. Boredom eases. Yoga makes me stronger. Every discomfort has a beginning, middle, and end. And my ok-ness does not depend on always being comfortable and "happy."
Neither yoga lineages nor the Buddha promise a life free of pain. Instead, we are invited into clarity. And clarity turns out to be deeply relieving. When we stop organizing our lives around constant comfort, we become less brittle. More curious. Slightly less dramatic about minor inconveniences.
Yesterday, after plunging into the Pacific, I wrapped a towel around myself and stood with my feet in the sand as the sun warmed my bones. Let's put our screens down; life is a wild ride swinging between pleasure and pain, gain and loss. It is happening right now, rich and full. Take a yoga class or sit in meditation and learn that you are already free.